Best of Today's Quotes Pt.3

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"I shall never follow you
Or in your shadow
I will pass your limitations
And prove you wrong
I will make it without you
Then when its time
You will fall behind
In my shadow"---Ryan Bednarski

"A cup is useful only when it is empty; and a mind that is filled with beliefs, with dogma, with assertions, with quotations is really an uncreative mind."--- J. Krishnamurti

"Acting is a very limited form of expression and those who take it seriously are very limited people" --- Judy Holliday

"Goals are dreams with deadlines." --- Aussie Girl

"It oftens happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope." --- Pope John XXIII

"Dear God, I pray for patience and I want it right now." --- Oren Arnold

"Over my dead body." --- George S. Kaufman's epitaph

"Television - a medium, so called because it is neither rare nor well done." --- Ernie Kovacks

My Environmental Guilt: Lately I've been getting flamed by people telling me I shouldn't put my political opinions in the comic strip. This surprised me because I didn't know I had any political opinions. In one recent comic I depicted an Elbonian oil worker drilling through the back of a unicorn. Apparently something about that psychotic mess looked like an opinion about drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Preserve.

It's hard to have a righteous opinion on the environment when you're as selfish and uninformed as I am. On one hand, I'm a cat-loving vegetarian who ought to care deeply about the caribou or koala bears or bats or whatever they have in Alaska. On the other hand, I live in California so I'd be willing to squeeze schoolchildren to death if I thought some oil would come out.

I might feel different if I planned to visit the Alaskan Wildlife Preserve anytime soon. But I don't know what I would do once I got there, aside from praying that I froze to death before I got eaten by a caribou, or a koala bear, or a bat. I've seen pictures of the Alaskan Wildlife Preserve and I can sum it up in just two words: North Dakota. Do we really need two North Dakotas? I mean, we already have South Dakota as an emergency spare.

I don't know whom to believe about the number of critters that will get hurt by drilling in Alaska. The oil companies want me to believe that the drilling crews will be giving backrubs and chocolate to the penguins, possibly taking them to formal dances. The environmentalists want me to believe that herds of caribou will be squeezed into a single windowless igloo and forced to make sneakers out of their own hide for ten cents an hour. My confusion is compounded by the fact that I ran over a squirrel yesterday while taking my car into the shop. I don't know how that's related, but it seemed worth mentioning.

Many questions remain.

Will more animals die during,
a) oil drilling in the Alaskan Wilderness Preserve, or
b) production of footwear for the protesters?

How much oil is in the ground up there in Alaska anyway? In your heart you know that somewhere there's a guy in a cubicle who had to come up with an estimate for his boss. He probably didn't have the budget to do the kinds of tests he wanted to do so he just flew up there, stomped around in a big furry outfit, stuck some poles in the ground, and proclaimed it to contain five billion barrels of oil. He knew he'd be working someplace else before anyone was the wiser. As the data worked its way up the chain of management, every manager tacked on a few billion barrels to puff up his own importance. Now we're pretty sure that the entire planet Earth is comprised of nothing but two inches of topsoil covering a huge ball of oil.

To summarize my political opinions:

1. I don't like unicorns
2. There is no oil in schoolchildren
3. Everyone on earth is a lying weasel
---- Scott Adams --(Submitted by my favorite nephew, Paul Lee)

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Your chances in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself." --- Robert Collier

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." --- Nelson Mandela

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." --- Will Rogers

"Many years ago a very wise man named Bernard Baruch took me aside and put his arm around my shoulder. "Harpo my boy," he said, "I'm going to give you three pieces of advice, three things you should always remember." My heart jumped and I glowed with expectation. I was going to hear the magic password to a rich, full life from the master himself. "Yes sir?" I said. And he told me the three things. I regret that I've forgotten what they were." --- Harpo Marx

"You don't marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to be as the result of being married to you." --- Richard Needham

"Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts." --- Roberta Flack

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle" --- Albert Einstein

"I am always thinking 'What am I doing here? Is this the way I am supposed to feel?'" --- Jack Kerouac

"When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong." --- Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983)

"It is especially important to encourage unorthodox thinking when the situation is critical: At such moments every new word and fresh thought is more precious than gold. Indeed, people must not be deprived of the right to think their own thoughts." --- Boris Yeltsin

"We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter." --- Denis Diderot

"Nothing changes more constantly than the past; for the past that influences our lives does not consist of what happened, but of what men believe happened." --- Gerald W. Johnston

"I went to the beach a couple of times in New York City. Tough summer out there, but I was pretty excited. I found what I thought at the time was a very rare seashell. And I took it to a friend of mine who works in a museum. And I was really disappointed. It turned out to be just a human ear." --- David Letterman

"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." --- Sam Goldwyn

"Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful." --- Fredrich Nietzsche

"If you judge people , you have no time to love them." --- Mother Teresa

"No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in." --- Gail Sheehy

"Being yourself is not remaining what you were, or being satisfied with what you are. It is the point of departure." --- Sydney Harris

"When spiders unite they can tie down a lion." --- Ethiopian Proverb

"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm." --- Winston Churchill

"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." --- Howard Aiken

"The penalty of success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you." --- Lady Astor

"Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.... --- Dr. A. Lawrence Lowell

"If you are not too large for the place you occupy, you are too small for it." --- James A. Garfield, US President

""I sing to the realists, people who accept it like it is. I express problems. There are tears when it's sad and smiles when it's happy. It seems simple to me, but for some people, I guess feelin' takes courage." --- Aretha Franklin

"Nobody has ever measured, even the poets, how much a heart can hold." --- Zelda Fitzgerald

"Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to." --- John Pearce

"One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination." --- Sam Levenson

"The youth of America is their oldest tradition." --- Oscar Wilde

"A book should serve as the ax for the frozen sea within us." --- Franz Kafka

"Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures." --- Jessamyn West

"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day." --- Sally Koch

"The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose." --- Hada Bejar

"The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is, rather, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life." --- Eric Hoffer

"A holiday gives one a chance to look backward and forward, to reset oneself by an inner compass."

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not sure about the former." --- Albert Einstein

"Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual as one in which he or she has had some fun, some joy, some real satisfaction, that day is a loss." ---Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1963

"Schlepping all of the equipment is the part I hate more than anything." John Abercrombie

"There's a lot of different forms of communication, but music is absolutely the purest one." Duane Allman

"When words fail, music speaks." Hans Christian Anderson

"I often discover that what sounds great at home sounds hideous in public." Tuck Andress

"If they act too hip, you know they can’t play sh*t!" Louis Armstrong<

"Each man has his own music bubbling up inside him." Louis Armstrong

"Man, all music is folk music. You ain’t never heard no horse sing a song, have you?" Louis Armstrong

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." Berthold Auerbach

"Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway." Emory Austin

"I play the notes as they are written, but it is God who makes the music." J. S. Bach

"The aim and final reason of all music is none else but the glory of God." J.S. Bach

"Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life." Ludwig van Beethoven

"One of the things I like about jazz, kid, is I don't know what's going to happen next." Bix Beiderbecke

> "Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable." Leonard Bernstein

"Stay cool, look professional, and pretend this is very, very easy." Dusan Bogdanovic<

"Music is well said to be the speech of angels." Thomas Carlyle

"Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself." Chinese Proverb
"Nothing is more beautiful than a guitar, save perhaps two.” Fredric Chopin
"Art is science made clear." Jean Cocteau

> "Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician." Jeff Cooper

"He who dares to teach must never cease to learn." Richard Henry Dann

"Don't play what's there, play what's not there." Miles Davis

"Puberty was very vague. I literally locked myself in a room and played guitar." Johnny Depp

> "Composers shouldn't think too much — it interferes with their plagiarism." Howard Dietz

"Music is only love looking for words." Lawrence Durrell

"It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge." Albert Einstein

"You are the music while the music lasts." T.S. Eliot

"A goal is a dream with a finish line." Duke Ellington

"If it sounds good and feels good, then it IS good!" Duke Ellington

"It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing." Duke Ellington

> "Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing." John Erskine

"It’s taken me all my life to learn what not to play." Dizzy Gillespie

"Whatever is good to know is difficult to learn." Greek Proverb

"All the sounds of the earth are like music." Oscar Hammerstein II

"I play the guitar because it lets me dream out loud." Michael Hedges

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music." Aldous Huxley

"To me a guitar is kind of like a woman. You don't know why you like 'em but you do." Waylon Jennings

"To teach is to learn twice." Joseph Joubert

"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you." B.B. King<

"The truth is more important than the facts." Frank Lloyd Wright

"I want every girl in the world to pick up a guitar and start screaming." Courtney Love

"Music critics get their records for free so their opinions usually don't matter." Marilyn Manson

"Music is the strongest form of magic." Marilyn Manson

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." Bob Marley

"Jazz is rhythm and meaning." Henri Matisse<

"Blues is to jazz what yeast is to bread. Without it, it's flat." Carmen McRae

> "Only become a musician if there is absolutely no other way you can make a living." Kirke Mecham

"Most guys at Berklee are going to wind up truck drivers." Pat Metheny
"My first relationship to any kind of musical situation is as a listener." Pat Metheny

> "Feel is a lot more important than accuracy." Peter Mulvey

"Without music, life would be an error." Friedrich Nietzsche

"Master your instrument, master the music, and then forget all that crap and just play." Charlie Parker

"Listen, listen, listen." Joe Pass

"It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up!" Jaco Pastorius

"No matter how long you play the guitar, there's always something else to learn." Tom Petty

"Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!" Harry Potter
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." Elvis Presley

> "Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music." Sergei Rachmaninov

"Listen, I don't care about the guitar; music is the main thing. I just happen to play the guitar." Jimmy Raney

"If the rhythm section is really swinging it's such a great feeling - you just want to laugh!" Emily Remler

"It is in learning music that many youthful hearts learn to love." Ricard

"Like a boxer's punch, one good note is all it takes." Angel Romero
"If you are touched by music you are touched by love in a very pure way." Pepe Romero

"The guitar is a meditative tool to touch God and find love within yourself." Pepe Romero

"If someone can relate my guitar solo to an exercise in a book - yow! That's no fun at all." Joe Satriani

"The guitar is a small orchestra. Every string is a different color, a different voice." Andrés Segovia

"If music be the food of love, play on." Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
"Making music should not be left to the professionals." Michelle Shocked
"A lot of people approach risk as if it's the enemy when it's really fortune's accomplice." Sting

"A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence." Leopold Stokowski

"Music is a form of prayer." Toru Takemitsu

"My teachers are Duke Ellington and nature." Toru Takemitsu

"Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life." Leo Tolstoy

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else." Lily Tomlin
"Any problem you can't solve with a good guitar is either unsolvable or isn't a problem." Unknown

"I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." Vincent van Gogh

"All the Strats have personalities of their own and feel completely different." Stevie Ray Vaughan

"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think." Horace Walpole

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." Willy Wonka

"Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny." Frank Zappa

"If you can walk you can dance. If you can talk you can sing." Zimbabwean Proverb

"Our main business in life is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand." --- Thomas Carlyle

"Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness." --- Jean De La Bruyere

Shortly after that, he bought the newly introduced Apple Macintosh computer - and immediately fell in love with it. "I was a big Mac fan," he said. Gore upgraded through several Macintosh models, eventually to a laptop that would "dock" in a desktop unit. But last year, in what Gore calls "a sad story," he reluctantly switched over to PCs that run on Microsoft Corp.'s Windows operating system. "I did it because of the problem in getting new software on a timely basis and the fact that some programs are not done for the Mac now," he said. "I still believe it's a superior format and I still prefer it. But for my purposes I've had to switch over, and I hate it." --- Vice President Al Gore (Wash Post, Nov.29, 1997)

"You've got to stand for somethin', or you're gonna fall for anything." --- John Cougar Mellencamp

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." --- Maori proverb

"The home is not the one tame place in the world of adventure. It is the one wild place in the world of rules and set tasks." --- G. K. Chesterton

"Isn't it surprising how many things, if not said immediately, seem not worth saying ten minutes from now?" --- Arnot L. Sheppard, Jr.

"Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas." --- Marie Curie (standard advice to reporters seeking interviews)

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform." --- Mark Twain

"Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress." --- Mahatma Gandhi

"The neccessity for making a living keeps our minds so bound down to the details of professional success that we sometimes forget there is anything except professional success to live for. The necessity of conforming our habits and standards to the habits and standards of those about us, in order that we may do efficient work, makes us forget that there is a point where conformity ceases to be a virtue." --- Arthur Hadely, President, Yale University, 1906

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues." --- Elizabeth Taylor

"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines." --- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad." --- Aldous Huxley

"On life's vast ocean diversely we sail, Reason the card, but passion is the gale." --- Alexander Pope. 1688-1744

"I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am." --- Monty Python

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." --- Aristotle

"Every person has in themselves a continent of undiscovered character. Happy those who act the Columbus to their own soul." --- R. Stephen

"There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted." --- Miss Manners

"The manner of giving shows the character of the giver, more than the gift itself." --- Lavater

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." --- Beverly Sills

"Trouble is part of your life -- if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough." --- Dinah Shore

"My attitude has always been...if it's worth playing, it's worth paying the price to win. --- Paul "Bear" Bryant, Football Coach, 1964

"In my lifetime, I may have put too much emphasis on winning, because here I am an old man and the only fun I've had is winning, and that's ridiculous." --- Paul "Bear" Bryant, Football Coach, 1979

"Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men." --- Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead (1943)

"It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost ..." --- Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever

"People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." --- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Breakfast of Champions

"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - Ask him. If he says 'yes' then you know he's a crook." --- Groucho Marx

"If you cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen." --- Nikita Khrushchev

"In economics, the majority is always wrong." --- John Kenneth Galbraith

"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." --- Harry S Truman

"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was." --- Irish Proverb

"Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching." --- Thomas Jefferson

"Every obnoxious act is a cry for help." --- Zig Ziglar

"No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in." --- Gail Sheehy

"Being yourself is not remaining what you were, or being satisfied with what you are. It is the point of departure." --- Sydney Harris

Please feel free to contribute your favorite quotes

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